.: bistan.net :.

Tomorrow, I’m going to the doctor.  I’m scared to death.

It’s been almost 20 years since I’ve had a checkup.  When I was 10 or 11, my mother decided that it just wasn’t worth the battle. (I literally fought the doctors).  I had my final immunizations and bid the pediatrician farewell.

My co-workers were in similar situations.  Our health insurance covers yearly well visits at no charge so we decided to go.  They visited their respected doctors in late 2009.  Now it is my turn to live up to my end of the bargain.

Did I mention I’m scared? I am petrified.

I’m totally clueless when it comes to medical stuff.  It’s probably a good thing that I’m not having any problems, because I don’t even know how to swallow a pill.  I’ve never swallowed one before.  In fact, the only non-liquid medicine that I have ever had was a hydrocodone pill chopped up in rocky road ice cream after my wisdom teeth extraction.

I don’t even know what to expect at a routine check-up.  I tried google, but it seems that everyone has different experiences.  I’m also scared of needles.  The last time I had blood drawn, was for the pre-marital blood test.  I passed out cold. On the floor.  They almost called an ambulance.  They brought me a green lollipop thinking it was a sugar issue.  I don’t even like green lollipops.  Let’s hope I don’t repeat that episode tomorrow.

So basically, I’m scared of doctors, I’ve never taken medicine, I don’t do well with needles, and did I mention that I’m extremely modest?  Why did I sign up for this?  Is (hopefully having a) long life worth all of this?

It’s going to take at least a ten mile run in the morning to alleviate this anxiety.

Every Easter morning as a child, my mother made my sister and I stand in front of the house in our fancy clothes for a picture. I used to hate it. Eventually I refused and I always swore that I would never subject my kids to such foolishness. But then, apparently, I got old.

Easter 2010

Easter 2009

Easter 2008

My kids, unlike their parents, love to get dressed up.  Maybe it’s because we don’t force it on them like it was forced on us.  This year, we didn’t even buy “Easter clothes”.  In 2008 and 2009 Tristan wore the same pair of shoes and in 2009 and 2010 Mackenzie wore the same pair.  No rosy background this year.  We pruned them to promote new growth.  And look in those pictures at how much weight Monk has lost in the last two years. (I’ll save a Monk update for a later post when I’m in more of a creative zone.)

Now I see why my mother did this to me!

I hope you had a Happy Easter as well!