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As a hobbyist photographer, I always want the best picture – especially when my child is performing.  We learned a hard lesson at the preschool open house last year: Don’t get there on time . . . get there very early!  So this year, we did.

Here is a question for the reader(s): Suppose you arrived somewhere an hour early to get a good seat.  You rushed home from work, rushed to change clothes, and had to entertain two small children for that entire hour.  All of that just so you could (hopefully) take some decent photos of your three-year-old child singing carols.  After sitting for 45 minutes (and trying to entertain those two small kids), the room is about 90 percent full.  There are several seats in the back and one seat next to you. A man with a cane sits in the empty seat next to you.  His overweight wife then asks you to give up your seat so that she could sit next to her “handicapped husband”.  What do you do?

Now I certainly have ranted before on this issue.  I hate it when handicapped people attempt to exploit their disability to gain something.  I politely suggested that they sit together in the back, however, the thoughts going through my mind were much more colorful.  Throughout the entire evening, the man kept making remarks to his wife about how sorry he was that she didn’t have a seat and how inconsiderate people can be.  I bit my tongue . . . so hard.  I haven’t had a reason to show anyone at Mackenzie’s preschool the ugly side of Jonathan and I certainly didn’t want to do it at the Christmas Open House.

Should handicapped people have reserved seating at the front when there are clearly no visual or hearing disabilities?  Parking is one thing, but seating is another.  Like you, I may have left my “What Would Jesus Do” bracelet back in the nineties, but I would have given up my seat to a blind or deaf person.  I will not, however, give up my seat to someone attempting to exploit their perceived handicap.  Notice I say “perceived”, because I doubt that toting around a cane makes you handicapped.

So that’s what Jonathan did.  What would you do?

Why is everyone so surprised that Tiger has been cheating on his wife?

Tiger Woods is a human being — a member of the animal kingdom. He has the same non-manogamous desires as a dog or a rabbit or a . . . tiger?

While some humans, in fact, have the ability to demonstrate self-control, the vast majority do not. Let’s take food and exercise for example — 64% of adults in our country are obese. No self-control there. Then there is alcohol, drug, and prescription medication addictions . . . no self-control there. Oh yeah, credit card problems and other money issues . . . no self-control there either. I could go on and on.

And today, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. The vast majority of those divorces are the result of infidelity. On top of that 50%, not all instances of discovered infidelity end in divorce and on top of that, I would bet that a good number of affairs are never discovered. So take the facts above — humans do not possess self-control and infidelity is rampant.

Now add in the temptation factor. Look at rock stars, politicians, and athletes and their groupies/fans/advisors swarming around them constantly. Lots of temptation there. And being on the road constantly away from his family probably didn’t help the situation.

If the math equation isn’t enough so far, add in the clubbing.  There are three reasons to go to clubs — to people watch, to be seen, and to hook up with people.  Enough said.

I’m not condoning his affairs, but seriously people . . . you’re surprised?

Now watch, the media that made him is the same media that will dismantle him. Let’s just hope he can still hit a golf ball after this.

I can’t think of many phrases I hate hearing more than “But I just . . .”.

Any sentence that starts with “But” is most likely an argument or a whine.  I don’t want to hear either. If the phrase is injected in the middle of a sentence, the person saying it most likely assumes that you don’t want to do something, yet is still attempting to justify their request.
Argument example:
Homeless man: “Got a dollar?”
Me: “No”
Homeless man: “But I just need . . . ”

Whine example:
Tristan: “Can I stay up 10 more minutes?”
Me: “No”
Tristan: “But I just . . ”

Assumption example:
Law student: “I know you’re at lunch, but I just need . . .”

I really can’t think of an example where you could use the phrase “but I just” in a statement that I want to hear.

“I’m sorry, but I just . . .” (they aren’t really sorry)
“I know I shouldn’t, but I just . . .” (they knew they shouldn’t)
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but I just . . .” (they meant to interrupt)

I initially planned to write more about my least favorite phrase, but I just have better things to do.

Six years ago when we got married and moved into this house, we did what was pretty normal at the time: we got a telephone line.  From the time the line was turned on, we were inundated with calls for the P… family.  I’m guessing that they had our number before it was assigned to us.  

My first clue was that Georgia Power wouldn’t let us use our new number to have power turned on for our address, because the number was associated with a delinquent account.  After that, it was credit card companies and even Gillead Christian Academy (a local extremely conservative private school).

Joel and Sonja P… are the main culprits and their son Jonathon gets almost as many calls.  Here is how the conversations for Jonathon would usually go:

Bill collector: “Hello. Is Jonathon there?”
Me: “This is Jonathan.”
Bill collector: “My name is blah blah and I’m calling about the money you owe me blah blah.”
Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”

Do you think the bill collectors bought it?  Of course not!  Once they confirm there is a Jonatha/on here, they think I’m changing the story when I tell them they have the wrong number.  So here we are, six years later, still getting harassing calls for the P… family.  

So how am I smarter than the bill collectors and why all of this tonight?  Using my common sense approach to researching on the internet, I’ve found them all.  Joel works (or worked) at the local Honda dealership, Jonathon is currently in the Marine Corps and Sonya (and possibly the others) attends a baptist church that is 1/2 mile from my house.  The latter two are on facebook, along with extended family, cousins, etc.  Why can’t the bill collectors use google?  It certainly would increase their recovery rate.

The number actually forwards to my cell phone now — our land lines are long gone — and when this AT&T contract is up in 2011, the number I’m referring to will be gone as well. 

Now, even though hardly anyone reads this blog, I’m calling these people out.  They deserve it after years of telephone calls and dinner interruptions.  I did hold back a little.  I haven’t published their address here.  They moved into their current house (which they paid $84,000 for) in November 2002, about 5 months before I got stuck with their number.  It’s all about research!

What’s up with all of this talk about a bad economy?  Seriously, I have no idea what these folks are talking about.  Maybe it was just all a ploy to put Democrats into office.  As for us, Kimberlie and I are at the top of our game.

In 2008, we contributed more towards retirement than ever before.  We were able to contribute more to non-profit organizations (church/charities) than ever before.  We dined out more than ever before.  We are even still saving more than ever.  We certainly aren’t hurting.

As for spending, we are spending more than ever.  In the last six months, I’ve bought a Nintendo Wii, and iPhone, annual passes to the happiest place on earth, and pretty much anything else we’ve wanted.  Usually, I NEVER splurge like that.  We are always doing some sort of entertainment.  We’re travelling more as well.  In 2007, we spent 14 nights in hotels.  In 2008, we spent 16 nights away.  This year, we may hit 20 nights. 

My salary and benefits are currently higher than they have ever been, but of course that’s usually the case.  (I’ve only stepped down into a lower paying job twice, but I proved myself both times and it payed off.)  The president of the University has also said that employee compensation is the top priority in next year’s budget.

Kimberlie was planning to negotiate a 5% raise for 2009, but she missed her regional manager because of our holiday trip.  That’s probably a good thing, because she ended up with a 20% raise!  She doesn’t really use any of her benefits because mine are so generous.

I guess we ARE employed in some pretty solid industries: health care and education.  Those are two areas that continue to boom, even when the economy tanks.  Information technology generally flourishes as folks tend to replace overpaid workers with computers and occupational therapy is growing fast thanks to the demise of the baby boomers.

Now sure, in the last 6 months my retirement savings has taken a nice hit, but at my age I expect volatility.  I don’t need those funds for at least 35 more years.  With that much time left, I’m supposed to be into those riskier investments.  And there are stores dropping like flies, but then again I HATED Linens and Things, Circuit City and KB Toys.  I am glad to see them go.  Car salesmen and the entire American automobile industry?  Good riddance!  They suck anyway. 

I’ll take UPS over DHL, Lowe’s over Home Depot, and John Deere over Caterpillar.  Last night, we were trying to predict what major chains would be next.  I say Quiznos.  They suck and they are overpriced and there are way too many sandwich chains.  Let’s see if I’m right. 

What about all of these job losses?  I doubt the people chosen to be laid off were the good, productive employees who pull their own wait.  If I was an employer and had to pick people to can, it would be the ones who take 800 smoke breaks a day and drive up my health insurance costs.  I know of several nice technology jobs at Mercer (one in my department) that need to be filled.  Don’t send those laid off folks our way though.  If Microsoft doesn’t want them, neither do we.

This stuff isn’t all bad though.  This the way a free market trims the fat.  Down with the oversized banks who have their computers answer the phones!  Down with companies that have bad service!  Down with sandwich shops that charge extra for cheese!  (I would love to put Down with Wal-Mart! here, but that’s not going to happen.)

Of course, if the economy has nowhere to go but up, I’m ready for the climb!

The only negative thing about our Christmas week trip to Walt Disney World were the supposedly handicapped people.

At Disney, you can rent a power chair for $69.00 for the day.  That seems pricey, but that chair acts as a dream fastpass, allowing you to advance to the front of the line with an unlimited number of your friends/family.  Apparently the word is out on that because there were countless people who had no noticeable disability riding in wheelchairs.  Then you have your usual overweight lazy people who are perfectly capable of walking but would rather sit on their fat @$$ and be pushed around.

If you had a disability, would you pick Disney’s busiest week of the year to visit?  I wouldn’t.  I would come a few weeks earlier or later when there are few tourists and plenty of room to move around.  That way, I wouldn’t inconvenience myself or others.

If you were confined to a wheelchair, would you really be interested in riding the Rock ‘n Roller Coaster or Expedition Everest?  Those rides certainly would not improve you ailment.

Now I have no problem with people who are truly disabled.  They have just as much right to enjoy the Jungle Cruise as I do.  But when normal people have to wait two hours for the ride, the disabled people should as well. Make them wait, THEN accommodate them.  If I can wait in line with a two year old and a tired five year old, then you can wait in line with a broken leg.  At the very least, Disney should require them to show a little blue sticker (like you need for parking) before advancing them to the front of the line.

Hypothetical situation:

If I decided to dress up in all black — ski mask included — and go jogging around my neighborhood for a good workout at night, would that be a crime?  It might be cold so I should be completely insulated. Maybe I should take some free weights or something to help boost the cardio. Oh yeah, I don’t have any free weights though so I’ll have to take some DVD players or something. That wouldn’t be a crime would it?

Maybe not, but I guarantee you some cop would come up and start questioning me. What would give them the right? I’m not committing a crime and I’m sure I don’t have any warrants out for my arrest. Since cops don’t harass normal citizens exercising in their own neighborhoods, maybe he’s really a criminal who has shot the real cop and is impersonating him. I should run. Fast.

Yeah I have worked at a law school too long.  Or maybe it’s just this cold is causing me to have more snot than since.

When you take your laptop, computer, digital camera, etc. to a technician, please backup and remove (or just delete) your pornography.  This especially goes for homemade pornography.  I can’t begin to count the number of people, including law professors and students, that I will never look at the same again.

Now, I’m not specifically looking through documents for porn and I’m not going to make a copy for my own gratification like the Best Buy Geek Squad is infamous for, but I don’t want to see it and I was much better off before I knew what these users specific fetishes are.

One day, long after I leave Mercer Law, return to this blog for names and details.  Just kidding!

I’ve always thought that almost all holidays are pretty much pointless (except for the obvious time off from work).  I don’t need a special day on the calendar to remind me that a battle was fought or a soldier died.  I don’t need a special month on the calendar to remind me of the contributions of black people.  I don’t need a certain 40 days designated to remember that Jesus died for us.

That being said, I do immensely enjoy Christmas.  Although I’ve always known what Christmas means religiously, after I was about 16 I didn’t really care for the rest of the season until I had kids of my own.  (I’ll post more on that later in the season.)

Out of all of the holidays ever created, I think that Thanksgiving is the worst.  Don’t think that statement means that I’m unthankful.  I am certainly thankful for everything . . .  from the big deal things like my wife, children and job to the little things like the CVS Extrabucks in my wallet and the coupons that Mr. Pizza sent me in the mail yesterday.  I just don’t think we should set aside a day to be thankful.  In some ways, forcing people to be thankful that one day of the year makes them apathetic the rest of the year.

As for the traditions and rituals themselves, I usually don’t care to eat food prepared by people who I barely know (like extended family members who I was forced to spend Thanksgiving with as a child).  In fact, when I was younger I looked for excuses to get out of going to church pot-lucks and I currently refuse to participate in covered dish activities at work.  Also, if I’m not at work, I don’t want to see turkey unless we go somewhere like Firehouse Subs or McAllister’s Deli because 90% of the time I take a turkey sandwich for lunch.

As for the family, my mother is gone, my dad is married to a Jehovah’s Witness (and out of respect for his wife no longer observes holidays_ and Kimberlie’s parents aren’t in the picture.  So all that is left is extended family, who I only see around funerals and um . . . things like Thanksgiving.  When I was in college, I remember hiding out in my room during the whole meal trolling AOL to find someone to chat with so I wouldn’t have to go downstairs.

So up until now, we’ve always done the traditional Thanksgiving thing because my mother was around to pretty much hold everyone together.  Last year, as she was falling victim to cancer, I even hosted the event at my house.  I just hope that wasn’t a “passing of the torch” type thing because I am blowing out the flame.

This year, we plan to do something completely different.  After Kimberlie gets off of work (she works every holiday except for Christmas), we are going to go out to eat.  We might search for traditional Thanksgiving food at some buffet like Ryan’s or we might do something completely different.  

There isn’t a shortage of invitations.  We’ve been invited to four different Thanksgivings — 3 different extended families and 1 friend.  But we have politely refused them all and we are going to have a nice meal out — without having to cook or entertain or wash the dishes or be somewhere at a certain time to eat food we don’t like with people we don’t like.  And then, we will come home and go to bed so that I can get up in the wee hours of the morning Friday and get a good deal on a new drill at Lowe’s.

The worst part about the entire thing is when people ask what we are doing for Thanksgiving and we tell them our plans.  The heavens open up and the pity party rains down. “Oh that poor Davis family.”  It’s like I’m committing a crime or something by deviating from tradition.  Surely if there weren’t others like us, the restaurants wouldn’t be open.

I’m not sure if we are establishing a new tradition this year.  If the kids were older, I would take them and volunteer somewhere feeding the less fortunate.  I’ve always wanted to do something like that, but seeing how I am day care on Thanksgiving, it’s not happening with a 2 year old.

Since I’m approaching 800 words in this blog post rant, I’ll end it now.  I’m sure I’ll post something before then, but anyway, have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

I’ve been tagged by Greg.  I usually don’t do these things but there is NOTHING on TV tonight and its raining (can’t run).

4 Random Things I Like About My Significant Other:

1 – She puts up with me.
2 – She supports me when I get into crazy new hobbies.
3 – She lets me have the remote.
4 – She loves me!

4 Jobs I’ve Had: (none of these were my official job title)

1 – Hot air balloon wrestler
2 – Sign artist
3 – Rooftop photographer
4 – Litter-box cleaner

4 Movies I’ve Watched More Than Once:

1 – Catch Me If You Can
2 – The Shawshank Redemption
3 – The Goonies
4 – Silence of the Lambs (or any of the other 3 in that series)

4 TV Shows I Watch:

1 – LOST
2 – Parking Wars
3 – Prison Break
4 – 24

4 Favorite Foods:

1 – Chicken & Dumplings
2 – Bar-b-que
3 – O’Charleys loaded potato soup
4 – Chocolate

4 Places I’d Like to Visit

1 – Alcatraz
2 – New York City
3 – Disneyland
4 – Space

5 Things I’m Looking Forward to in the Coming Year:

1 – Mackenzie getting potty trained (5+ years straight of changing diapers is getting old)
2 – Disney Marathon
3 – Tristan starting Kindergarten
4 – Change (ha ha ha)
5 – Going back to school

4 People I Tag:

Sorry, I don’t think there are 4 people who read this blog.

Wow . . . Alcatraz, Prison Break, Catch Me If You Can, The Shawshank Redemption, Silence of the Lambs . . . It looks like I’m fascinated with being incarcerated.  I guess if I’m ever on death row, at least I’ll get my 4 favorite foods!