I’ve been drooling over the Canon T3i, but by the time I add all of the accessories I want and the waterproof housing, it would be well over $1000. We currently have another financial goal so that is a little steep.

Flash forward to Black Friday. Old Navy’s offer was a FREE waterproof digital camera with a $40 purchase. No problem there. I needed some jeans and we needed to pick up our gifts to donate to the kid’s school as we do every year. The only issue: “quantities are extremely limited”.

I arrived at 7:30pm on Thanksgiving in anticipation of the midnight opening. Several other adventurous shoppers confirmed that there were only 40 cameras available. I was number 9 in line when I got there and about 23 by the time the store opened (thanks to some very unethical people).

Now I don’t think many people actually shop for holiday gifts on Black Friday. People pretty much just buy things for themselves. I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t stand in a line like that for anyone else.

Here are my tips for other Black Friday shoppers:

• Black Friday is not necessarily the best time to score a deal. Other than the “doorbusters”, like the cheap laptops and TVs (and the camera), the prices aren’t that competitive. Of course, the selection on Black Friday is better than the selection near Christmas when the deals are better. It’s all a trade off.
• Those aforementioned “doorbuster” TVs and laptops are usually cheap knock-off brands like Dynex, Visio, Emerson, etc. They aren’t worth even what you paid for them. Hold out for a good deal on a Samsung or Toshiba instead.
• While the coffee and hot chocolate might be great in the 40 degree weather, you will need to get out of line to relieve yourself. It’s better to go without.
• You might think you are making friends in line, but when those doors open, it’s every man for himself.
• When you arrive, count the number of people in front of you. That number is guaranteed to at least double before the doors open. Suddenly, everyone is best friends with the person at the front of the line.
• Don’t call the cops. It is private property, so unless they are invited by the property owners, they probably aren’t going to help with crowd control. Besides, it isn’t a crime to cut in line. Besides, they probably aren’t happy about working on the holiday anyway.
• If you’re too fat to get out of your car, you need to stay home. Sitting in the car doesn’t count as waiting in line.
• I’m all for equal access (OK, so not really. And I really mean not really.), but wheelchairs and handicapped people have no business trying to compete on Black Friday.
• Prank calling the store workers so that you can watch them answer the phone through the window doesn’t accomplish anything.
• Calling the cops a second time for the same reason (see above) just pisses them off.
• Don’t cut in line. It will piss people off and you don’t know what kind of rage they are capable of.
• Trying to be the line police makes you look more like an asshole than the people cutting in line.

I’m sure I could keep going, but you get the point.

Anyway, to make a long story short, I got the camera! And I got some mediocre deals on clothing. So look for some awesome water shots right here, next June!

I did ALL of the above . . . and PRed by 27 minutes.

After some online research, I stumbled upon a great set of instructions by Andy Ihnatko. Like cleaning the insides out of a pumpkin, dismantling the computer required special tools and certain protruding portions of the case had to be removed as well.  Between a Dremel and a hacksaw, I finally removed the portions of the computer necessary to build the aquarium. (My apologies for using “Mercer Law” and “hacksaw” in the same blog post.)

The mac, still covered in Splenda

Gutting the mac

Out with the unneeded

Pretty chinese art from 1992

The garbage pile growing

Sawing off the protrusions

After getting the case like I wanted it, I cleaned the outside thoroughly.  When the computer was found in the closet, it was covered in spilled Splenda.  I also used black spray paint to give the insides a nice, new look.  Some vintage macs have Steve Job’s signature engraved in the inside.  This one, however, did not.

Next, I needed glass to build the actual tank.  I went to Lowe’s and learned they only carry 1/8 inch glass, which wouldn’t support water.  Home Depot had the same.  Specialty glass shops online wanted big bucks to cut the glass. At this point, I lost motivation and put the case in the attic for over a year.

At my new job, I desperately needed some sort of decoration, etc. to personalize my office.  Perhaps a conversation piece?  One day while riding down Riverside, I discovered a glass shop about 3 blocks from the office.  I printed out the dimensions I needed and took it in to see if they could do it.  Not only could they do it, but it was only about $9.00.  Score!

I came home and assembled the pieces using regular silicone and leak-proofed it with aquarium-safe silicone (which was difficult to find). I also constructed a wooden base to position the glass box on (and keep the electrical, etc. underneath).

Constructing the glass from instructions on the macbook

The glass assembly - waiting on silicone to set

Next, it was time to design the look of the aquarium. My friend/former boss Chris had an aquarium in his office at Mercer for several years and over that time I did a few different shots of the law school as the background for it. That background got rave reviews. Since I work in a beautiful building now, I thought that might be a good plan.  I also love bubble bars and Mackenzie picked out some neon-colored gravel, which I bought against my better judgement.

I also needed a light to illuminate the tank, for visibility and to make the fish think its daylight inside.  I wanted to go LED even though the price was a little steeper.  I found a great LED light that can even be submerged if I ever decide to put it under the water line for about $20.00 on eBay.

Because changing the water would be difficult, I also needed a filter.  I found an under-gravel filter online (powered by the same air pump that will generate the bubbles) that is supposedly perfect for small tanks.  Since I plan to start with cheap goldfish, a heater/thermometer isn’t necessary.  Of course, I can always add one later and go with a better filter.

Upside down case, mounting light into position

Aquarium safe silicone, found at Ace for 3x the price

Under-gravel filter, perfect for small tanks

Here’s the complete list of supplies:

Glass: 10.26 (also bought a second set, just in case — if you want it, let me know)
Silicone: 3.77
Aquarium-safe silicone: 7.41
Wood for the base (select pine): 6.84
LED light from eBay: 20.73
Under-gravel filter: 10.72 (shipping was more than the actual item)
Air pump, tubing, valve, gravel: 17.42
Fish catcher, food, and vacation feeders: 6.89
Distilled water: 1.21
Fish: 54 cents

Total cost: $85.79 (yikes!)

I went a bit over my $50.00 budget, but shipping killed me on a few items (filter, light) and I spent more to get better stuff on others (light, wood).  You can purchase a similar sized aquarium kit at a local pet store for $25 or so, but it wouldn’t be nearly as cool.

I also bought a small table to sit it on for $8.00 at IKEA so that any leaks wouldn’t damage my office furniture, but I ended up not using it because it was too small.

I initially set the tank up on Friday to give the water a few days to circulate, I ran into a few problems.  The air pump caused a loud vibration noise that was not conducive to a work environment.  I also had issues with the gang valve leaking and ruining my background print.  Currently, I have removed the bubble stone and I moved the pump to outside of the computer case. I set the filter up to run continuously, but put the LED light on a timer so that it simulates daylight for the fishies.

Today (Sunday), we added two goldfish from PetSmart: a regular orange one and a white one with an orange spot. Let’s hope they are still alive tomorrow when I get to work!

Finished product

Close up

Macquarium

The photos above as well as the video below were taken with my iPhone.  I forgot to take a camera!  I’ll try to post more shots soon.

Hopefully I don’t get fired for having this at work.  Nobody knows about it so far.  Remember my motto: It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission!

Other than that, the church is fine.  I did some technology work for them a while back.  We attend festivals and other events there every blue moon and my kids even play Upward Soccer there.

Anyway, certain days of the week are “visitation days”, where the members are supposed to take tracts or flyers and canvas their communities to reach the lost. Now, this isn’t a small church: each week, nearly 1000 attend (according to numbers published in their bulletin) and every few years they are building new buildings or additions.  I point this out so that you don’t think that this could be considered a “neighborhood church”. Rather, the members that we know are from communities all around, up to a 50-mile radius. 

Our street is the closest possible residential street to the church.  Every time the members go out to visit, they hit our street (and our house).  EVERY TIME.  It’s like the members are trying to see how they can “get credit” for evangelizing by putting out the least amount of effort.  It synonymous with the whole Livestrong bracelet fad from a few years back: by buying that yellow bracelet for $1.00, it truly is, the least you can do to fight cancer.

Today's flyer from the church. We get tracts or flyers about twice weekly.

From my perception, this is complete laziness.  Only one household in our neighborhood attends this church (and they aren’t the ones canvassing).  Over half of our neighborhood is a different race than 99% of the church’s membership and it is an undiputed fact that churches in the south are still as segregated today as they were in the civil rights era.  I note that to prove that they aren’t purposely targeting our neighborhood, but rather being lazy.

Wouldn’t it be a better use of their time and resources to visit their friends, family, and colleagues who could potentially be interested in the church? According to the church’s teachings, they should be giving ten percent of their income and significant amounts of their time to the church.  Why wouldn’t they want to see their investment pay off?

Welcome to America, where even the churches are lazy.

That leaves some serious holiday confusion here. We still have two small pumpkins in our living room, only a few feet from Christmas decorations. And outside, a Christmas wreath hangs on our door overlooking two pumpkins and mums near our porch. I’m pretty sure the outside lights are going up this weekend!

In August:

• The locks on my car quit working
• My lawn mower died

In September:

• We had to replace our mattress
• Our air conditioner pump malfunctioned, sending gallons of water into the air intake
• Kimberlie passed out at a church soccer game — the only soccer game I wasn’t at.  We convinced the ambulance and firemen that she didn’t need to go to the hospital.

And so far in October:

• We just had to replace the battery and one of the tires on Kimberlie’s car.
• Let’s just say that last Wednesday was one of the worst days of my life.  In October 2008, I was in my first car accident in my life.  In late September 2009, I was in another.  Neither of them were my fault and both involved uninsured drivers, leaving me to foot the bill.  This week, I was in the third accident of my life. Unfortunately, I can’t elaborate publicly in the event that litigation arises.

In January:

• Kimberlie’s mother died

In February:

• Mackenzie gets kid-mono.  Between the two of us, we spent almost two weeks away from work, doing nothing but this:

  

In March:

• We went through a tough eating-out hiatus.
• T-ball.  Need I say more?

In April:

• Tristan learns to stick things where they don’t belong.
• Tristan has a major accident during a day trip.
• I went to the doctor (for the first time in 20 years).

In May:

• A house catastrophe.
• No raises at work.

In June:

• I ended up in 2 graduate classes during a 4-week summer semester.  Of course, I ended up with A’s, but it was a tough month.
• Mackenzie ended up sick (and very irritable) for half of our trip to Philadelphia.

And now, July:

• The cat chewed up my Macbook power cord.
• We lost our “free” cable and I my iPhone and digital camera went for a swim . . . in the same week.
• Ants seem to invade a different room of our house everyday.

Of course, there are things that have been happening (or not) all year:

• The stock market has really sucked for the last few months.
• I’m 31 and still not rich enough to retire.
• Publisher’s Clearinghouse still hasn’t knocked on my door.

Don’t get me wrong.  I still love my life.  But even number years just never work out for us.  2008 was equally as bad.  2007 and 2009 were fabulous.  Let’s hope I can make it through the next five months alive!

• First of all, it is NOT a spill.   Nothing was spilled. It is a natural substance bubbling up from under the ocean floor.  God made oil, not man.
• Nobody intentionally caused the disaster.  It was an accident.
• Due to the complex distribution network of petroleum projects, it is NOT POSSIBLE TO BOYCOTT BP.  Oil is used in plastics, jellies, paints, detergents, film, ink, etc.  The gas stations are owned by small businessmen who are simply marketing the BP brand.
• We all share responsiblity.  BP would not be drilling at such depths if we weren’t so addicted to oil.
• Did they ignore proper procedures? Does it matter? We ALL ignore proper procedures at work.  That’s life.
• Do we owe the gulf coast anything? No. Their economies have been stimulated by oil companies for years.  That’s our money already going to support them.

If you look at company stocks in the years after disasters, you’ll see why I will be buying BP stock while the price is low.  Just look at how Exxon stock performed in the early 90′s after the Valdez spill.  Other disasters produced similar results.

Businesses are jumping on the bandwagon as well.  Hotels don’t want to wash your towels and sheets every night, but again, that’s probably more for financial reasons than for environmental reasons.  Other business decisions, such as recycling are practical and noble. There is, however, one place where businesses should not “go green”: the restroom.

My biggest pet-peeve about the whole thing is when paper towels are eliminated in favor of the air dryers in restrooms. The paper towels that most public restrooms have are the brown ones anyway, made from previously-recycled materials.  So by providing them, you aren’t completely anti-Earth.

First of all, they are loud and they scare the crap out of small kids.  Trust me, I know.  If the kids were to dry their hands before using the restroom, it would make them wet their pants.  It’s a good thing they wash their hands afterward.

Yesterday, we visited Stone Mountain and Tristan had an accident.  I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that the accident was so bad that I lost my lunch during the clean-up process.  That is not an exaggeration.  Some messes can not be cleaned up with cheap toilet paper.  When we left, that restroom stall was thoroughly violated.  I honestly would have cleaned up the mess had paper towels been around.  Unfortunately, some minimum-wage employee had to do it.

I was once, in my grocery store days, the guy who had to clean up comparable messes.  I always wondered how someone could “violate” a restroom like that.  Now I know.  In this case, it’s because someone tried to go green.